We help you find answers to conflict so you can move on!
Searching for answers and feeling hopeless is a hard place to be in when you are hurt and angry.
Start From The Beginning
Have you ever walked in a room where a person full of emotion began telling you a story and right away you found the story hard to follow? You started asking questions. Who's Billy? How did he get to the appointment? Where were you? Can you start over from the beginning so I can understand what you are trying to say? And the minute you ask them to start from the beginning, you just busted their bubble. They get frustrated with you and the story no longer has the emotion behind like it was when you entered the room.
The same thing happens when we are trying to find answers to our conflict. We try telling our story to others and it feels like they are just not listening to what we are trying to express about our hurts and emotions. At Ceasefire Mediation, we Start From The Beginning. In a Start From the Beginning session, we will help you discover your conflict story. We give you the foundation in which to tell your conflict story. Making it easier for you to develop next steps and a plan to move forward.
Start From The Beginning
The process always begins with a Start From The Beginning session. Your coach will help you explore your morals, values and interests so you can approach conflict with confidence. You can expect this session to last anywhere from 2 - 4 hours.
Conflict coaching is where you should plan to spend most of your time and efforts. It is where you will build on next steps after you discover the foundation of your conflict story. Conflict coaching is also where you will learn the heart of the scripture Matthew 18:15 "If your brother or sister sins against you, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over."
Many issues can be resolved through conflict coaching. However, sometimes there are legal issues that need a discussion and a legal binding document to file with the court. For example, a couple getting a divorce may be able to settle all matters through an informal discussion, but the court needs an actual signed agreement to file the divorce. A Mediated Settled Agreement is a document that can be submitted to the court. Mediation can also be a place where Matthew 18:16 is applied, "But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses."
Arbitration is what I refer to as a last resort. This is a process that should not be taken lightly and it should not be considered until all attempts to conflict coaching and mediation have been exhausted. Arbitration is where Matthew 18:17 is applied. "If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector."
Experience shows us that broken relationships with unresolved conflict can result in higher levels of stress and anxiety, sometimes leading to depression. Which then can also lead to low self-esteem and decreased motivation and morale. When multiple attempts to combat against conflict have been made, most people express frustration in the amount of time and money they have wasted on their efforts.
When we can dig deep to find the true answers to conflict, we are no longer trapped in our conflict. We can experience freedom, a better and more peaceful life. Confidence can arise from getting closure to our conflict. And we learn new skills that can be applied to all areas of our life, including teaching our children and others about conflict.
Matthew 18:18-20 "Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”
I was overwhelmed and confused. I didn’t even know where to start. I was referred to Ceasefire by my Pastor. Shelly explained the process, what I could expect and what was available. She listened and provided sound advice. She walked me through and continues to provide expert care. I appreciate all the help and would highly recommend her. She is the best! -CB
Shelly is amazing. When I sought her advice, she was quick to respond and was able to meet with me almost immediately. I quickly opened up to her because she made me feel at ease from the start. Shelly is empathetic, caring, and knows about a variety of useful resources to help with mediation, co-parenting, conflict resolution, and documentation (many resources which I am now using). Also, she shared her own experiences, which gave me a sense of not feeling so alone in this process. I feel blessed to have gotten the opportunity to meet with Shelly and get her insight and advice, and I highly recommend her to others. -KW
About Shelly Mathews
CeaseFire Mediation is owned and operated by Shelly Mathews, a Christian Conciliator, Credentialed Mediator and Parent Coordinator. Shelly is passionate about helping parties gain clarity and discover empowerment through some of the hardest times in their life.
Shelly's training and experience allows her to provide a process that is an alternative to our society's traditional means which helps consenting parties reach better long-term outcomes.
Learn more about Shelly
Shelly Mathews is an actively practicing Christian Conciliator, Credentialed Mediator, and Parenting Coordinator in Central Texas. Shelly has training in Relational Wisdom 360, Mediation, Advanced Family Mediation, Child Protective Services, Parenting Coordination, and Parenting Plans. Shelly is a student of the Relational Wisdom 360 program and a member of the Texas Association of Mediators, Texas Mediator Credentialing Association, Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, and the Texas Association of Family and Conciliation Courts.
Shelly obtained a master’s degree in Conflict Resolution and Management from Abilene Christian University. Shelly has a passion for helping families work through their conflict which begins with identifying and managing conflict through assessments, followed by developing future goals, and creating a plan of action.
Prior to entering private practice, Shelly has previous employment at Family Abuse Center as the Director of Legal Services and Outreach where she acted as a legal advocate for victims of domestic violence and a law enforcement liaison for Waco Police Department and McLennan County Sheriff’s Office. Shelly has previously sub-contracted with Child Protective Services as a Home Study Specialist where she obtained experience assessing the placement for children in CPS care.
Message from Shelly
Community is important to me. I serve my community by participating as the Relational Care Director at Renovation Church. The Relational Care Ministry offers support groups such as DivorceCare, GriefShare and The Peacemaker Study. For more information visit the Renovation Church website at www.rcwaco.com.